Well have you ever been to the toilet on a train????
Well you can see the train tracks through the hole you wee through!!
I really really needed to go to the toilet, and couldn't keep it in until we got there, so, I had to pluck up my courage and go to the
toilet.
So I waited till we stopped at a station and dashed to the toilet.
Well besides the overwhelming pee smell that hits you when you get in, the sight of the stones on the train track outside really freaks you out.
So you drop your pants, not too much though so it doesn't touch any puddles on the ftoiletr.... and you grab the handles that are strategically placed nogal... and hover.
Goodness knows what has touched those seats.............
And there as you hover, you go into total piss-shock.
So you try and calm yourself down and then relax and pretend you are actually at home on your nice clean and nice smelling toilet at home, then just when you feel like you can do it, somebody walks past the window.............right close to the window that you can see there silhouette through the glass close ................................... NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
So now you start all over again, relaxing and pretending to be in a better place...... so you can go.
Then while you are right in the middle of weeing, the stupid train starts moving,
You totally don't expect it, and even though you are holding onto those 'strategically' placed handles, you lose your grip.....
Between trying to stop weeing, grabbing frantically at the walls, not stepping in case you step in an unmentionable puddle, you feel yourself falling onto the toilet seat.
NOOOOOOOOO, you almost feel like screaming but you are in such shock all you do is let our gasps of air as you hit that seat. Then you feel the draft.
Gosh I shot up off that seat so quickly I swear I was hanging off the ceiling.
That's it; I will wait until we get to the town!!!
You quickly wipe, let the toilet paper get sucked down the hole and land up goodness knows where, and pull your pants up, checking that it hasn't touched any puddles!!! The only decent thing is the basin that has water so you can wash your hands (what about your poor bums exposed flesh that touched the "TOILET SEAT".
Never Ever again will I go through the torture of train toilets again.
Then if that is not bad enough, the train I was on gets delayed in Wellington for 2 -3 hours. So after half an hour of sitting a lot of people decided to get off the train. Well not only were people getting off the train, other people were going to the toilet, (for no. 1's & 2's)....
Yes you read right, they were pooping.
Well now the toilet is right by the door, so not only do you get the smell of a decaying corpse when you walk past the toilet door, you get whacked with the whiff and sight of it when you get off the train. It was disgusting. Well now I hear you all say why didn't the people go to the toilet on the station.............................................
The smell emitting from that "place" was so bad I didn't even contemplate venturing anywhere near the door, let alone go in there, and judging by the looks on the people’s faces that came rushing (yes rushing) out, it was not at all to be considered "useable".
If, and that's a big IF, I ever travel by train again, I will always, always be the first one off!!!!!
Then if that wasn't bad enough, we get into Riebeek Kasteel and I need to go again (since I didn't actually finish going on the train, remember it started moving!!). Well there they have those trailer toilets, so you feel a bit relieved. Believe me it is very short lived.
This delightful toilet was divided in two by a little wall and a big old water tank. SO in other words, you can see and hear the person in the toilet next to you.
But wait, there's more.............................................................
Not only can you see the complete stranger in the cubicle next to you and hear them fart and then let out a sigh of relief, there is no flushing, that's right, NO FLUSHING whatsoever, so you pee into a big container, on top of the other 300 or so people before you, excrement. Yes excrement, cos goodness knows what was in there that smelled.
Yes smelling, lucky me a second toilet of aromatic charm.
Well now at least the train had strategically placed handles for the hover, this one had a wall and a water tank.
Then when you are done adding wee no. 350 to the pile, you get to wash your hands with "oh so heavenly" green tea hand soap, with the clean cold water out of the dividing water tank!!
Okay so that wasn't too bad, but it was still bad enough.
So we go on with the festival, drinking and chatting etc........
So you gotta go again, well this time it is rent-a-toilets. It is so dam small you go in backwards and look over your shoulder at the state of the toilet.
Oh my gosh a flushing mechanism.... and it works, so now you are pumping the flushing mechanism and looking over your shoulder at the same time to make sure it is flushing.
300 flushes later you now get overwhelmed with a disinfectant smell that actually makes you want to throw up.
You balance on the little step and hover again over the toilet.
At least the toilet is narrow so you can hold onto the walls without losing your balance. So you think this is okay, I can do it, and then out of nowhere someone drunk willy-head falls against the flippen toilet making it shudder and tilt. You get such a skrik you fall forward and trip off the little step you are balancing on and hit the door in front of you.
So not only do you have your pants down and literally your ass in the air so it doesn't touch anything and now you have hit the door in front of you with your face but you have also knocked the toilet paper off the side onto the floor.
So now you are back up on the little step, balancing and hovering and you wee, this time no one crashing into the rent-a-toilet.
You toiletk for the toilet paper and there you see it, on the floor in a puddle.
Oh good grief, what next.
Luckily because I have flu, I have 2 million tissues in my bag so I am saved there and at least it is uncontaminated tissues. All that over and done with you toiletk for the little basin to wash your hand that have touched every germ infested surface in the "poop hole" and guess what, there ain't one.
Well needless to say I grabbed my dettol deodorant out of my bag and sprayed my hands and wiped off with another of my clean tissues.
Got out of the toilet and just ran!!!!!!!!
Luckily for us it started to rain so we went to the Riebeek Valley hotel and parked off there in the bar the rest of the time.
They had lovely clean toilets with two-ply toilet paper.
They also had soap hot water and cream. AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
I now have a mini-sprayer filled with enviro-chem disinfectant in my bag, for any further yukky toilets!!!!
Ya this is most definitely fear factor of public toilet's!!!
