Tamsin

Tamsin - 6 and a half months!!

2 teeth and very healthy lungs!

Fiona

Garden Service

Who needs to hire a garden service, when you have them around!!
guaranteed to give a short cut and fertilize too!!!
Natural organic fertilizer ;)
Every now and again I just open the gate and let the girls in for a bit.
Even though they are still a bit weary of Bruno, they come in and mosey around the garden.
I reckon I still need a tortoise or two, just to get in around the edges!
The ducks are useless at keeping the grass short, and all the muscovey's do is poop on the cement!

Princess Fi-Fi

Fi-Fi

Fiona the hand-raised Cameroon pigmy mountain goat.
Her mother rejected her at birth so she moved in with Telana.
We used to feed her with a bottle like a little baby.

We had to force feed her with a syring and feeding tube in the beginning,

but then she got used to the bottle and was quite sweet the way she got all excited when she knew it was botty time!!
She would come and visit me when she was bored in the farm yard, or she used to wait for us to get home at night to get something nice to eat.
You had to hide all sweets away from her because her weakness was nik naks and chocolate. And if she found it, she would help herself to it!
Being hand raised she was very very very tame. She loved to come in and sit and watch TV with me!! And if you were sitting talking and ignored her, she would politely head nudge you with her head and horns,

just to let you know she was there.

Which explains the hosepipe on her horns……..
Her horns were short and when she nudged you the ends got you right in the shins and it was dam sore, so we extended her horns… she loved it!!!
Sadly though she had to move to Animal Zone, as she was eating all the land lords plants, but also needed some animal companionship. Watching TV and eating chips and chocolate is not really an appropriate lifestyle for a goat.
Oh and she also picked up a bad habbit……… smoking!!!!
She would go and get all the cigarette stompies out the bucket and chew em!!!!!
Been thinking a lot about her lately and wonder if she ever had any babies?
Don’t think she would have been a good mother though,

she was rather self absorbed!!!
But ya the looks on peoples faces when they came to visit and in walks this little goat: “ meh meh” and jumping up on the chair by the counter or couch!!!
Now whenever I eat nik naks I think of her!!

Just the two of us!

Dominique & Belinda

Aged: 2 years 8 months & 26

Had to babysit her last night, well she truely is a little madam!!

The things that she says and the questions she asks!!

But eventually her and Lu-li went to sleep leaving me rather exhausted!

They say that laughter is medicine for the soul, well then Dominique is a really good dose for the soul!

Fat?!

Why is it that if you are overweight, you are generally shunned by society??
I mean, not only do your clothes look like modified potato sacks that has been designed and manufactured by colour-blind trolls, but the lotions and potions that are suppose to help you, do nothing more than screw you up!!!

I have been giving some kind of herbal tonic to ( this is the best part...) "aid in weight loss" Ya right, Aid my ass........
This stuff not only tastes like shit, it makes you feel like shit. Then when you drink it for a second time you have more energy than the duracell friekin bunny.
Besides the crap taste and nausea…. you can’t get to sleep at night..
Just as I am about to sleep, the alarm goes off….. so now I have to get up, and try and see where I am going and hold my eyelids up at the same time.
After a shower and two cups of coffee I am still trying to keep my eyes open.
Time to try and make me look beautiful and that is a mission to do with my eyes closed, so I also put some gel on my eyelids to try and glue them open, the gel says “mega”!!!
Well time for the next dose of Dr who-ji-maflip’s wonder tonic and ka-ching wide awake!!!
Off I go to the pharmacy for some sleeping tablets or something.
You get home and then drink the sleeping tablets because you are so alert you are just about buzzing and go to sleep normal time. When the alarm goes off I have to find it while still looking at the back of my eyelids, because the sleeping pills haven’t’ worn off yet…… bugger the alarm where’s dr what’s-his-faces weight loss “aid”, I need to see!!
Next night same drill sleeping pill, and off to dream land….
Morning arrives…..” where the fuck is my eyelid opener!!
Geez my eyes are so red, and the concealer cannot conceal these purple rings any longer. Now when I go to the shops people see me and hold on a little tighter to their purses because I look like a coke junkie that needs a hit!!

When you have to attend a function you might as well decline before you even begin to actually think that you could honestly get anything appropriate to wear.
Not only are our clothes modeled on anorexic midgets, but the styles and the colours are enough to make you go out and have a chocolate to get you through the depression.
Why is it that if you are an overweight woman, clothes designers/ manufacturers think that your legs and arms are short??
Do they think that only short women are fat??? I mean the wider the waist the shorter the legs and sleeves.
But besides that they also think that fatter men are giants. The wider mens pants are the longer the legs.
Do these so-called designers actually leave their homes and look at real people??

Oh and of course when you are overweight and go to a gym, you get to see all the anorexics there, that don’t really need to be there!!
I once had a woman on a treadmill next to me who had to support herself with her arms to keep up on the treadmill. Her legs were so thin that the fattest part on them was her knee joints! But run on the treadmill she will……. Sorry did I say run??!! She would support herself with her arms and her little leggies would flop about underneath her giving her the impression that she was “running”!
Not to mention parklands Barbie who rode on the bicycle in front of me…. The whole time she was cycling, that little red message “start pedaling to select program” stayed flashing for like 15 minutes. All I wanted to do was just go up to those pedals and spin it with my hands so the flashing would stop!!!
There should be a law against anorexics joining a gym !!!

Being fat is no joke, you get wonder tonics from dr “thinger-majigger” , that guarantees to give you a complete makeover in 1 week… from relatively normal, to frieken psycho.
You get to, sorry HAVE to eat food that tastes like cardboard, wear something that resembles a potato sack, and get all the negative attention to last you a lifetime. When are people going to realize that fat people are people too!