Sharks......

Wanna know what really pisses me off….
These flippen smear campaigns that happen when there is a shark attack….
Pisses me off beyond belief when these dumbass yahoos go out there with there fishing boats and just nail sharks left right and centre…..
What a conquest…… gaffing a shark and ripping its jaw out and lashing it around…: “look at what’s out there…..” massive jaws……
Trust me dear there are a lot worse things out there than a fish with a massive jaw…….
(Try rapists, murderers and pedophiles for starters. What about drug dealers, drunk drivers or armed robbers……)
Well a round of applause to you tosser…..
you’ve nailed some shark that may or may not have bitten anyone but just the fact that is was a shark had to die, maybe you would like to come and kill ALL the Rottweiler’s and pit bulls and staffies , because you know there have been a few fatalities as a result of their attacks.
Yeah exactly I don’t see that happening ……..
I mean come on people, the last time I checked sharks lived in the sea….. Well they pretty much can only live in the sea, but that is beside the point.
If you are going to swim in the sea near a beach where there have in fact been shark sightings and attacks, aren’t you tempting fate??
Not all sharks bite, not all sharks come close to shore, and not all sharks deserve to get gaffed by some glory seeking tosser.
If you go to the Kruger National Park, what do they tell you…………..
YOU are entering the animals habitat so if a lion bites you it is your own fault.
Lions are hunters so they will hunt you down and yes they may even kill you.
So if we can respect Lions, why not sharks?? They are after all also hunters are they not?

So come on, stop the smear campaigns, or if you want to continue with the inhumane slaughter, then do it all that applies.
So every time dogs attacks someone, go out and kill of the same breed, and someone gets raped, or murdered go to the prisons and kill all of the rapists and murderers.
That is after all fair isn’t it??

Mouse-capades Morning Star!!!

Well I live on a small holding, out in the stix / middle of no-where/ doer –and-gone etc, etc, etc… and with living “out there” so to say, you do not have normal day-to-day experiences
For starters about 1 year ago there was a whole big article in the paper about the Morning star residents high risk of mercury in the water, dinking water that is (yes, believe it or not there are people out there who still drink tap- water!!)
We had to have these tests done, but (there is always a “but”) we had to pay for it ourselves.
So naturally what do you think happened………….. No one went because that would mean either our right or left kidney would have to be sold on e-bay to pay Drs Dietrich
’I want-all-your-money-now’ Street and partners or Path-‘we rip you off ‘- care, for our blood tests.
And if you have kids you are really screwed, you need at least one kidney!!!!!!!
Well we had our bitch ’n moan session about it and tested the water.
When I say test I mean: Monday fill a 2l bottle with tap water… scrutinize the colour, smell and taste. Next Monday do the same and look at the two bottles….. And if it looks better then we were certain we would live another week!!! Test complete!!!!!
Well I have eventually deduced that there is in fact mercury in the water and the smaller your brain, the more it affects you.
Take for instance some of my chickens, thick as planks I tell you!!
One of them regularly has aneurisms and lets off this monotonous long winded fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck (yes that is what it sounds like!!)
The other one has something seriously wrong with her eyes…. She walks over hurdles all the time…. And don’t let her run because you are guaranteed to collapse in a heap on the floor laughing your ass off!
Asshole, well need I say more, he is a really big one, does all these dumb things all the time, like running up and down the fence trying to get in….when just 1m to the left the gate is WIDE open????!!!
Or I will throw food for him and what does he do……………………..runs in the opposite direction
Even smaller than them are the mice…………………………
One night I open up my pot cupboard, note: pot not food, but pot cupboard, and there as plain as day is a mouse. Not a big mouse, rather small actually, but in any event a mouse looking up at me. My first reaction was “OMG Juan look at this now, a bloody mouse.”
Then I am like hang on, you aren’t even running, so I call Juan to come and see this little article who is either kak brave, or scared stiff, since he is not moving. Well we both started laughing.
I caught him in one piece and I went to put him across the road in the neighbors stable!!! (hee hee hee hee) Well anyhow when I get home I am really happy because now I have to wash ALL the pots in the cupboard, yay, I love washing pots …………..NOT.
Oh well what a collection of mice drollies that have collected in the cupboard, I think the whole family was living in there, all I need a friekin family of them. Well anyhow they haven’t gone into my grocery cupboard, so I am relieved, but it is very short lived. I go to have a shower and open my bathroom cupboard to get a new soap. The little idiots have eaten my white lux soap. Not the pink or the green, just the white ones……….
Now either they are racist or they swear a lot, but come on man, my soap!!!
And there are still no attacks on my food cupboard??
Then I want to warm milk for my hot chocolate and open the door to my microwave………..
Mice pee and poo on the turn table, under the glass turntable and next to it.
There is a loaf of Albany, best of both worlds, bread right next to the microwave, totally untouched, just my microwave that was used as a public toilet.
I have looked all over the microwave, but cannot find the sign that says “Public Toilet”, but who knows maybe it glows in the dark!!
So se set some traps for them, and what do they do……… they come into the room at night and onto my bedside table and try and drag my cell phone off into the night……….
Goodness knows who they are gonna call…. But anyhoo they still tried to drag it off……
After being unsuccessful in catching the little buggers in the mouse traps we googled another solution involving peanut butter……
And caught 1 of the 10 000 000 that have invaded my house!!!
But let me tell you something that little shit head was so fat……………
He even had thunder thighs!!!
But anyhoo we still have a few more to get before they are gone…..
But hopefully the mercury won’t show them how to watch TV at night!!!

Tamsin is growing!!

She is now 10 and a half months old!!
She is crawling, but not your average crawl....
She leopard crawls and it is too funny!
When you tell her to clap, she claps her hands and clicks her tongue to call the dogs!!
And she loves to wave "ta-ta" to you, and then gets so excited she uses both arms!!
When she is tired, I put the music on and we dance... She has her favourite lullabye song that just puts her out completely!! (me too as you can see above!!)
When Mark saw this he took the cd home with him!!!!!
She now has 5 teeth and lots of hair!!!
As soon as Mark remembers to bring me his digital I will post pics of her laughing!!

Popeye

Cindy's burmese python......
I know...... eeeeeeeuuuuuuuwwwwwwww gross a snake....
I was exactly the same at first.
I was was shit scared of snakes.... even at those dumbass snake shows, when the presenters say touch the snake, or hold the snake, I would chicken out......
But then Cindy adn Willem got a snake. I was totally two-minded about the whole thing. I was scared as hell when I first saw it, but it was only little and I convinced myself that he was probably more scared than me, and yes he can bite, and it could probably hurt, but there is no venom, so I will live!!!
I catch spiders (in a glass and then throw them outside - shhh dont' tell Juan, he thinks I kill them !!), I catch frogs, I have been bitten by dogs, cats, horses, spiders, so what differnece would it make if a baby python tried his luck!!
So I did it and I held the snake.......... it was so weird..... that coldness and the sleekness. I have now progressed in handling him.... He has been in my top slithering round on my tummy (I put him under my shirt to stay warm) and in my hair around my neck!!!
The feeling of his slithering is really weird, you feel the rippling of the muscles as he moves.It is rather ticklish too.
He is cool except I hate the idea of him having to eat live mice.
The fact that you have to put this adorable little mousey in his tank so he can kill it....... so not for me. I fall in love with the little critters.
So I have seen him eat twice.... and no more
I find it a bit disturbing now!
I have taken pics, I will post it at a later stage.
After watching him strike, smother and eat the mouse I developed a respect for him. Look when he gets biger I will probably be a bit more hesitant to let him slide around my neck....but as long as I am fat, there is no way in hell he can get his mouth around me!!!!
As you can see, I shit you not... I do hold the snake!!!!!

Bruno

Cindy and Willem got Bruno the Easter weekend this year!!
He was too cute when he was little, but now he won't stop growing!!!
He is a typical male puppy..... chews EVERYTHING!!!
Oh and not forgetting his pooping in ALL THE WRONG PLACES!!
I have never ever stood in so much poop!!
You know they say that if you stand in poop it is lucky..... Well if that were the case I should be the luckiest person alive!!!
He loved to poop right next to the driver-side door of the car, and no matter where you parked he would poop there!!! bugger!!
Oh and also under my washing line he loves to poop there. So before I hang anything out, I need to do a poop patrol!!
Then one saturday, Juan and Willem were bored, so they dyed him pink.... well you can see how it came out!!!!
When I saw him, I stalled the car I was laughing so hard!!
His fur is back to normal colour on top, but if you lift his fur, there is still a pink hue!!!
As naughty as he is, he brings alot of laughs to us all.
I don't think we would have him any other way!!!

I'm back!!

Ok, ok I know …… I know…..
I haven’t been here in ages….. I am sorry!!
Just seems that there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything!
What can I say.. mmmmmmmm
I am STILL fighting the battle of the bulge…… but must admit to having quite a few episodes doing so!!
Yes that does mean I have graced the gym with my presence…. I know how shocking is it!!!
I even fixed my bike…. Yes a real one that has tyres and pedals ….. And just in case you were wondering…. It is a glorified ornament!! Hee hee hee hee…
But before you say:” I knew it…” the only reason it is an ornament is the fact that Juan has a better bike than me, so I ride his instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So there!
His bike is too cool it has “one click” gear changing and this funky little thingy that tells you what your speed is and your distance etc.. So I get to check my speed and watch it go from 26km/h on the downhill … to a measly 4km/h on the uphill!!!
It is fun to go cycling when there are no cars kicking up gravel in your face, and no stupid ass dogs trying to chow you!!!
The advantage is that the whole cycling sensation is so much better than cycling in a gym…… that whole downhill free-wheeling. It is the closest thing to flying. The only problem with speeding downhill where I live, is the gravel road (bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, bumpety, bump, bump, bump) Your ass really does take a beating!!!!!! You kind of learn to lift your butt of the seat over very harsh ground!!! I must look a right sight flying downhill with my ass in the air!
But hey, who cares!!! At least I am bringing a smile to someones face!!! (Even if it is at my expense!!)

Life on the holding is still good….. Still have all my animals, and yes they are still as demanding as ever!
There have been a few additions over the past few months…. Bruno – Cindy’s dog, Popeye – Cindy’s snake, Fugnut – The very painful bird in the garden, and some new birds in Cindy’s Avery

Anyhoo must run
But I hope you enjoy the pics!!!
I will post more as soon as I take some more, and when Mark remembers to bring me his camera!!

Love and kisses to you all!!

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